Breaking Tradition: The Wedding Rules I’m Happily Ignoring

Ahhh, weddings. The endless Pinterest boards, the etiquette guides, the “you have to do it this way” advice from relatives who planned their own wedding decades ago. But the more weddings I photograph, the more I realize: the best ones are the ones that toss tradition out the window and do things their way.

And honestly? That’s exactly what I want for my own.

Who Says Wedding Parties Have to Be Even?

I’ve been to (and shot) weddings where the wedding party looked straight out of a catalog—perfectly symmetrical, standing in neat little rows. And then I’ve been to weddings where the lineup was completely uneven, because who actually has the same number of closest friends on both sides? And guess what? No one cared. No one counted. No one whispered, Wait, there are five bridesmaids but only three groomsmen! Instead, the lineup felt natural, like a true reflection of the people who mean the most to the couple.

Walking Down the Aisle… Alone

The idea of walking down the aisle alone? Absolutely stunning. There’s something so powerful about stepping into that moment by yourself, fully present, fully confident. I’ve seen brides do this, and it’s always breathtaking. Some have carried a bouquet, others have held nothing at all, just floating toward the person waiting for them. It’s a moment of self-assurance, of stepping into a new chapter on your own terms.

Parents Giving Speeches During the Ceremony

Typically, speeches happen at the reception when half the guests are two glasses deep and whispering about the wedding cake. But I love when parents give speeches during the ceremony instead. It’s intimate, it’s emotional, and it makes that part of the day feel even more meaningful. Picture your mom or dad sharing a memory, telling a story that brings laughter or tears (or both), all while you stand there, taking it all in. That’s a moment you’ll never forget.

Alternative Altars: Let’s Rethink the Ceremony Backdrop

Not every ceremony needs the standard arch. Some of the most striking setups I’ve seen ditch the expected structure entirely—think floor-to-ceiling drapery billowing in the wind, asymmetrical floral arrangements that spill onto the ground like they grew there naturally, or even sculptural installations that feel like modern art. Picture a massive tree wrapped in delicate lights, or a pathway lined with candles leading up to the “I do.” The altar doesn’t just have to be a place to stand—it can be a moment in itself. 

Not Skipping Cocktail Hour

One of my biggest wedding-day pet peeves? When the bride and groom miss their entire cocktail hour because they’re off taking photos. Look, I get it—portraits are important. But the energy during cocktail hour is unmatched. It’s when your guests are mingling, the drinks are flowing, and the celebration really starts. So why not be a part of it? Some of my favorite weddings have had the couple join in, soaking up the joy, clinking glasses with friends, and actually getting to enjoy the party they planned. Instead your portraits can be done in little moments throughout the day but those joyful candids captured throughout cocktail hour cannot be.

Bridesmaids & Groomsmen Getting Ready Together

The whole “girls in one room, guys in another” thing? Love it for tradition’s sake, but I’ve seen bridal parties mix it up, and it’s so much fun. Why not start the day with everyone together? Popping champagne, hyping each other up, making sure the groom actually eats something—it turns the morning into something that feels less like a production and more like a true pre-celebration. And the photos? Chef’s kiss. 

Unexpected Tablescapes That Wow

Florals are gorgeous, but they’re not the only way to make a reception table feel magical. Imagine a sleek, candlelit dinner with nothing but taper candles in different heights flickering down the length of one long table. Or a table draped in sheer fabric that pools onto the floor, adding a soft, romantic feel. I’ve also seen couples skip traditional round tables in favor of one dramatic banquet-style setup, where everyone gathers together for an intimate, family-style meal. The goal? Make every detail feel intentional, unexpected, and entirely you.

Do It Your Way

At the end of the day, the best weddings aren’t the ones that follow every rule—they’re the ones that feel right for the couple. Whether you’re throwing tradition out the window or keeping the ones that feel meaningful to you, it’s your day. The only rule? Make sure it actually feels like you.

And if you need a photographer who’s all about documenting those real, unscripted, untraditional moments? You know where to find me. 💍✨

Written by: Shawnae Mutch